Ben Greenman

FRAGMENTS FROM MEL! THE MUSICAL

Ah, Mel Gibson: How your craziness continues to reward us. First, you have a messiah complex. Then you have a drinking problem. Then you have a divorce. Then you have rage. Well, maybe you had the rage all along. Maybe that’s what caused the messiah complex and the drinking problem and the rest of the I-don’t-know-karate-but-I-know-karazy behavior. At any rate, Mel, years ago, when you were pulled over for driving drunk and made sweeping anti-Semitic remarks and called a policewoman “sugar tits,” I wrote a musical about you. I couldn’t help it. You were just standing there like a big fat target, your big fat face saying “Mock me! Mock me!” And of course, Mel, when you make demands, I listen. I mocked you. Then I forgot about you. I saw Edge of Darkness. Eh: not good, not bad, just kind of there.

And then, Mel, you came roaring back with these tapes in which you berated and belittled Oksana Grigorieva, the woman you got involved with after you left your wife Robyn. You said a bunch of hateful nonense on the tapes: sexist, racist, violent. It may have even been better than what you said to the police, if by “better” I mean “worse.” So I updated the musical I had written about you. The update is slight but I wanted to make sure that your emotional immoderation and incontinence was brought into the present. So it’s here. Welcome to the present, satire-target Mel. The update is now posted at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.